fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
The best revenge is premature balding
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Randomize
