I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Alive.
So much puke
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
