i may or may not be watching the land before time
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
It's blow job season.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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