My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
