Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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