dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
