just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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