I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
