i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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