He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
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