I think i peed on brittanys purse
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
My pussy is not your playground.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Randomize
