The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize