she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Randomize