North Korea, Best Korea!
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
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