GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
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