We need to rekindle our bromance
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
