It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Randomize
