Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Randomize
