Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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