This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
