i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
