I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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