Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize