my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
