hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
