Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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