I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Drunk is not a location!
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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