so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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