it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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