Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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