Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
