I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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