five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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