I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
