So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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