I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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