she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
