uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize