Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
