dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
