okay pat passed out under dana's car
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
