Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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