Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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