dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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