All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I think your dad took our porno
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Don't tell me you're on acid again
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
