im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
