Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
