that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
