scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
