Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
It's rum buckets o'clock
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
