i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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