I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
