I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
