she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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