But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize