When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
