"it" just moved
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
