the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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