On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
what day is it and did you see me today?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
