im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
