Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
